When a student is REGULATED and able to think clearly, they are in their UPSTAIRS BRAIN. Learning can happen! Allow children to REFLECT on behaviors and decisions, REPAIR by learning a new coping skill, and RESTORE a positive relationship with you.
When a student is experiencing BIG feelings or feels threatened, they are DYSREGULATED and need you to CO-REGULATE them. They are functioning in the DOWNSTAIRS BRAIN and need to be DEESCALATED.They cannot reason or learn. They cannot control their behaviors.
Ok ... so, now what?
Listen to what they are saying, watch what they are doing, keep them safe, acknowledge their feelings, and rephrase without passing judgement or minimizing their experience. Ride the emotional wave and wait.